


For all intents and purposes, my name is Babe

by Katealot



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Artist! Keith, Baseball player!Hunk, Brogane, Cheerleader!Allura, Cheerleader!Matt, High School AU, M/M, Polyamorous relationship, baseball player!Lance, cheerleader!Shiro, gay af, klance, lets do this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 17:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10443300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katealot/pseuds/Katealot
Summary: “We’re just friends but everyone thinks we’re dating so we play into it and stage dramatic scenes in our ‘relationship’ for the lolz AU” - @thepeasantthatstooduptothegod





	1. Pilot Chapter

They’d heard it all before.

“Oh, you two are just too cute together!”

They’d deflected the comments with varying degrees of disgust.

“Oh, no we aren’t-”

“Ew, gross, me and Lance? Gag me with a fork.” 

“Dude.”

So Keith didn’t really know what Lance was up to when he pulled him into the space between buildings. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Keith asked cautiously, brushing Lance’s hand off his arm. Lance looked strangely giddy, and that alone made the voice in the back of Keith’s head go, “oh no”.

"Okay, okay so listen,” Lance began, bouncing on his heels. “You know how everyone always assumes we’re dating?”

“Unfortunately.” Keith replies, his eyebrows raised.

Lance ignored his comment and continued.

“So I was thinking… what if we were?”

Keith choked suddenly, doubling over in a fit of coughs. Holy shit, He thought. Did he really just say that. It’s not that Keith had a had a crush on him… anymore. And it’s not that Lance was unattractive or anything because, well, let’s stop that thought there. It was mostly because of the fact that Lance just blatantly blurred out that… they should date?

“What?!” Keith finally croaked out after a minute of Lance hitting his back to make sure he didn’t asphyxiate.

“Jeez, chill out dude. What if we made people think we were dating? Like, we staged these big dramatic situations within our ‘relationship’ and stuff?” 

Keith stared dumbly at Lance, who looked as if he’d just discovered the cure for cancer. After many silent moments, Keith finally spoke. 

“Why?!” 

“I don’t know, for the lolz?” Lance offered.

“Did you really just say that out loud?” Keith glared at Lance. Lance rolled his eyes and his whole body seemed to get into it, dramatically throwing himself against one of the walls.

“Come onnnn, Keith! It’ll be funny! Think about Pidge’s face when they sit at the lunch table and we’re feeding each other and playing footsies.”

“Gross.” Keith said.

“Exactly!” Lance pointed at him. “See? We gotta do it!”

Keith looked at Lance skeptically. He had to admit it would be pretty hilarious to see everybody’s faces when they reveal they were “dating” after being mercilessly teased for years about it. He looked Lance up and down one more time.

“… You promise it won’t be anything weird?” He asked.

“All PDA past hand holding strictly prohibited.” Lance said matter-of-factly.

“Wow, big word,” Keith smirked. 

Lance rolled his eyes.

“Shut up,” he put out his hand, “So do we have a deal?”

Keith mulled it over. Pretending to be dating his rival/friend and ex-crush in exchange for the pleasure of seeing his friend’s faces when they shout “Ha! Psych! Gotcha!”

He looked at Lance’s extended hand. What did he have to lose really? He took his hand and shook firmly once.

“Deal.”

“Great!” Lance beamed. Suddenly, he shifted his palm and laced his fingers with Keith’s, pulling him out of their little alleyway. “Come on then, babe.” 

“Oh my god.” Keith mumbled, already regretting his decision. He couldn’t help but smile just a little, though, at Lance’s enthusiasm, and he told himself that the heat he felt in his cheeks was just the sudden late-afternoon sun on his face.


	2. Step 1: The Reveal

Keith was walking down the hallway the next day, tired as hell because between his AP homework and a certain stupid agreement he'd made, he hadn't gotten much sleep. He rounded a corner and spotted Lance leaning against his locker. When Lance saw him heading his way his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Keith!" He half-shouted, raising his hand in greeting and taking a step in his direction. "Or should I say," he dropped his voice and looked at him through half lidded eyes as he got closer, "Keeiitttthh" he drawled out in a deep slurry voice, closing the distance between the two and practically touching noses with him.

A shudder ran down Keith's spine but he was pretty sure it was because he was standing right under an air vent.

"Um," he stutters out, really hoping Lance hadn't caught the crack in his voice, "No one's watching." He takes a partial step away and shuffles to his locker trying to ignore how hot his face was suddenly. Damn, what was up with the thermostat?

"I know." Lance says, spinning on his heel and looking at Keith with a dazzling smile still on his face, "I'm just excited. This is going to be so funny!"

"Ha..." Keith let out weak laugh, putting two books into his locker and pulling one out. He closed his locker with a thud and spun his lock, turning to make his way toward the courtyard.

"Hey, wait!" Lance squeaked urgently. He grabbed Keith's arm, stopping him long enough to catch up to him. Keith looked at Lance expectantly.

"What?" Keith said.

Another blinding smile spread across Lance's scheming face. 

"Let's go grab breakfast at the quad." Lance said confidently, sliding his hand down Keith's arm till they were linking fingers. Keith looked at their hands and then back up to Lance's face. He was wearing a smirk, but not in that assholish "I-know-I'm-gonna-get-what-I-want" kind of way. More like a kid who just walked into a candy store and knows their mom will let them buy 1 thing.

"Uh..." Keith was trying to form words, honestly. But there were a lot of things going through his head and Lance's blue eyes were...  _really_ distracting. "Yeah, um, okay. Whatever." He secured the strap of his messenger on  his shoulder and hugged his AP Psych book to his chest as he let Lance lead him by the hand towards the center of the quad. 

* * *

As Keith and Lance approached their usual table, they spotted their friends goofing off as per usual. Pidge, the kid genius freshman who'd made it into the program at 11, sat on top of the table, shielding their face with an empty tray as Hunk, Lance's best friend since they were kids, flung home fries at them with a spoon. Shiro, one of the gangs only senior friends, and Keith's older brother, sat across the table quietly chuckling and shaking his head at the other two.

Once they were within earshot, Lance's hand shot up as he waved to his pals.

"Whaddup fellas and tiny gremlin child." Lance called. It may have sounded rude to anyone outside the group, but everyone who really knows Pidge knows they take a strange amount of pride in the title. 

"Lance!" Pidge screeched, "Tell Hunk to call off the assault before I-" Pidge's voice trailed off as their gaze landed on Keith and Lance's clasped hands. Keith blushed a deep red and quickly ducked his face, already uncomfortable with the attention. Lance however seemed to stand a little taller. 

"Hey, guys." Hunk greeted casually, looking a little confused between them but overall holding the same friendly tone. That's one think you could count on Hunk for, not judging too quickly.

Once they got to the table, Lance finally let go of Keith's hand to give Hunk a fist bump. Keith circled around the table to sit where he usually did next to Shiro. All he got from his brother as he sat down was a half confused, half concerned look. Keith just shrugged at him and turned his attention back to the rest of the group. Silence settled upon the 5 of them. A somewhat uncomfortable silence they didn't often find themselves in. And yet, here they were.

Just when Keith was ready to get up and escape the tangibly awkward scene, Lance cleared his throat. 

"SO!" He clasped his hands together loudly,  startling Keith a bit. "Big game next Saturday. Do you think we're ready?" He looked between Shiro and Hunk, the only other two who knew anything about baseball. 

"Well, from what I've seen from the team, you guys look pretty ready." Shiro answered giving Lance an encouraging smile.

"Oh, yeah," Hunk added, throwing one arm around Lance's shoulder and pulling him in tightly next to him. "We totally got this. 100%. Those mutants are going down!" He offered Lance his hand up top which Lance gladly slapped with a whoop. 

"Come on guys, have a little respect. The Apache Aliens are a highly qualified team that has won just as many games as we have." Shiro reminded them.

"Yeah till now." Lance cackled bumping Hunk's shoulder roughly and receiving another rough check back.

Shiro tried giving them a hard look, but his resolve melted with a chuckle. 

"Yeah," he said, "Till now. Although their squad's skill level is rather impressive." He ran his left hand through his hair.

"Please," Keith scoffed, drawing everyone's attention to him. He adjusted in his seat but continued. "Our squad is better than theirs just like our team is better than theirs." He paused. "I mean look at what we've got," He gestured to the two across the table, "Lance and Hunk are two of the best minor league baseball players in Gila County, maybe even all of Arizona."

"Awww, Keith-" Lance began but Keith kept on.

"And Shiro, you and Matt raised up the cheer leading squad from nothing! I mean you remember how it was when that one kid was in charge, L-"

"Keith." Shiro warned. He was pretty laid back about a lot of things, but there was one name, one person who could set him off. 

Keith backtracked, "Sorry. But you get what I mean. And hey, what about the new girl, I mean she became one of the best members of the squad and she only transferred this year. With you guys running the squad and her climbing the ranks, there's no way you guys  _won't_ make it to nationals. That's all I'm saying."

Shiro looked over at his brother as he finished.

"You really think so?" He asked, a small smile quirking at the edge of his mouth. 

"Please," Keith rolled his eyes, "I know so."

Shiro's smile spread wide over his face, accentuating his features, drawing some attention away from the large scar across his nose and making him look younger than he was. 

The group went quiet again, but this time significantly more comfortable than last time. That is, until Pidge spoke up.

"So.... are we just going to not going to talk about how Lance and Keith were being super fucking gay on the way over here?"

"Pidge, language." Shiro said scornfully, but Pidge just ignored him as usual.

 At that, Lance's face lit up like a Christmas tree. He reached across the table and scooped up Keith's hand nonchalantly. Keith pretended his heart didn't skip a beat.

"Yeah! So," Lance glanced around their little group, "Keith and me decided to make the rumors official."

"Keith and I." Pidge corrected.

"Shut your quiznack shortstack, I'm in the middle of a declaration." Lance threw at Pidge.

"What rumors?" Shiro asked. Although his arched eyebrow indicated his was asking more out of conformation than confusion.

Lance rolled his eyes big and dramatic. He held up his and Keith's now intertwined hand and shook it around as if he was trying to communicate through flailing. 

"The dating rumors. We're dating now."

Nobody knew quite how to react. It wasn't a disrespectful thing, everyone was well aware the two were anything but straight (Lance never shut up about it), but this wasn't anything they thought they'd be hearing any time soon. 

The first to actually speak up was Hunk. Thank the divine beings for Hunk.

"Well, congratulations!" He exclaimed, smacking Lance between the shoulder blades. Lance winced but grinned, rubbing his back over his shoulder.

"Thanks, buddy!" Lance responded fondly. 

Soon the two were back to chatting normally, as if a huge bomb hadn't just been dropped.

Keith, however was being stared down by Pidge and studied by his brother. He cleared his throat to try and tell them to 'take a hint' but they just kept their eyes trained on him as if he was a weird self-multiplying organism in a petri dish.

It didn't last long though. After a moment, Pidge's older brother Matt slid in comfortably next to Shiro, slinging his arm over his shoulders.

"What up homos, what've I missed... Keith, what's wrong with your face?

He knew he was probably red as a beat but he just swiped his hand across his forehead and shrugged. 

"Nothing, I feel fine."

Matt looked at Keith again, then Shiro, and next Pidge.

Finally, he said, "I feel like I missed something."

Pidge sighed and hopped off the picnic table, grabbing their lunch tray. Then they simply said, "You gays give me a headache."

Before anyone knew who they were talking to, their back was to them as they headed back into the main building.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! So first of all you can find me on tumblr @katealot, that's where I do most of my fandom blogging and where I will be posting updates on this if I decide to make it a complete fic. So yeah, go check me out!
> 
> Second, I am totally 100% making this up as I go along. I may end up crafting a very rough very basic sequence of events but that is about as much detail as I'm planning on for schedule and plot purposes. BUT... here's where you, yes you one of the 2 people reading this, come in. On my tumblr my ask and submit boxes are open. Drop in there and throw out some of YOUR favorite tropes and ideas and I will be checking for any that I like and want to include. And here's the best part! If I chose your idea and you leave your name/tumblr URL you will be featured in my "This chapter was made in collaboration with..." section at the end. So pop in and submit your favorite things and you may just see it in future chapters. :D 
> 
> Thanks guys!
> 
> This chapter was made in collaboration with @thepeasentthatstooduptothegod on tumblr (for their awesome au idea that will be the base of this fic)


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